"Tom Daley looks like he's been barbequed"

And that, I'm afraid to say, is courtesy of my darling mother. Whilst watching the Olympic diving finals yesterday, she decided to share that great gem of wisdom with me. Okay, yes. The fake tan is more than a little overdone on tiny 14-year-old Daley. By quite a lot. My mother then decided to add: "Look! He's more tanned than the Australian! And the Cuban!" Oh dear. I must say, though, watching the diving was quite enjoyable. Purely because it was rather easy on the eyes watching divers Rommel Pacheco of Mexico and Australian Matthew Mitcham parade around wearing just tiny speedos. Just a little something to keep me entertained until Novak is back on court.

Rommel Pacheco

Onto other matters, the US open begins tomorrow! Novak won't be playing until Tuesday, though. Annoyingly, the schedule has only just been released, so I've made plans for Tuesday - ARGH! Hopefully, he'll be at least 2nd or 3rd in the 11am cycle in order for me to get home in time to watch. The big names on court tomorrow include Rafa, Jelena Jankovic, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Elena Dementieva, David Ferrer, Andy Murray and Anna Chakvetadze. Rafa's opening match is against German qualifier Bjorn Phau, whom he has never met at an ATP or grand slam event. Phau is currently ranked 136th. Unfortunately for Phau, I would imagine that he stands no chance against el matador, who is going into the Open with excellent form (I don't need to give the Beijing Gold-Wimbledon-Roland Garros rundown, do I?)

I have to say, I am getting more than a little bit edgy. Of course I have faith in Novak. I do. I just worry. A lot. Especially seeing as I don't think I can take watching him cry again.

Ahh, pure perfection...

(I just realised that I probably sound like a perv. Ah well. It's the internet - who cares?)

Glorious civilization. οιμοι.

I'm back from the wilderness. First, it was Wales. Then a small Spanish village which had apparently never heard of the internet or mobile phone signal. Then it was Ancient Greek camp at Bryanston, situated in a tiny village called Blandford. The clue's in the name. Ancient Greek camp was actually a lot of fun. I met Jesus. He's a pretty cool guy. He translated Euripides for me, but it turns out that I speak Spanish better than him. Not so hot on the modern languages, eh? I now keep on dropping Greek words into everyday conversation. I think I've lost all vestiges of sanity. οιμοι.

On another note, Cincinnati, argh. Yet again, I find myself disappointed in my dearest Novak. I was overjoyed when I found out that he had knocked out Rafa (naturally, le quiero, pero...Novak es mejor), but then he let himself be defeated in the final by Andy Murray. ANDY BLOODY MURRAY of all people. Benast govno. He's just so arrogant. I still haven't gotten over the time when he flexed his muscles after the Gasquet match at Wimbledon. Bezmozgaš. Fortunately, he went out today in the first round of the Beijing Olympics. Thank heavens. Srećom, Novak went through in straight sets against Robby Ginepri, however tomorrow he'll face Rainer Schuettler, who reached the semis at Wimbledon in a series of upsets earlier this season. Hopefully, Novak will avoid another shock exit this time (although at Wimbledon he went out to Marat Safin, whom ja mrzim). Thankfully (for the sake of my blood pressure) Safin is not competing at Beijing, although his sister, Dinara Safina, is. In fact, she beat the Italian Mara Santangelo in the first round earlier today. My other main Serbian title-hope is the lovely Jelena Jankovic, who went through her first round match in straight sets. Fellow Serb Ana Ivanovic is also sadly not competing, nor is Croat Mario Ancic, both of whom I'm quite upset not to be seeing. Alas, I shall console myself with Novak. Napredovati, Nole!