A-Rod... Why do you exist?

Well, it is 11.50PM and I could be doing the Russian Exam due for tomorrow morning. But instead I'm going to blog about my intense dislike for Andy Roddick. Yes, this is purely based on the fact that he keeps on beating Novak. No, I am not biased.

So. Aus Open, then Indian Wells?? Both tournaments where Nole was the defending champ, and both times defeated by A-Rod. Straight sets at IW and retirement at Melbourne. What is going on here?? Plus, it is causing a precarious slide in Nole's ATP points, right the way down to 8420, which is far too close to Murray (ARGH. Don't even get me started), at 7850. I literally cannot cope if he drops to #4. Ranked below Andy Murray? I feel physically ill at the thought.

But before '09, A-Rod and Nole had only met 3 times, two of which Nole had won, including last year's US Open. Why now? Well, okay the switch to Head at the beginning of the year possibly didn't help. But, after coming into IW from a win in Dubai, why did Nole let Andy get to him?

Who knows. But I ain't happy about it. Time for Carrie to arrange an accident for A-Rod...

Well next time I'll just let you drown.

I'm not spiteful. No, I'm not a bitter, angry person. It just gets on my tits (to quote Miss Caines) when people are ungrateful little cabrones.

Okay, so you might not know, I work a few shifts a week as a lifeguard to supplement my impoverished student lifestyle. This morning, I had the joy of working a double shift from 10am on Valentine's day. Yes. While my friends are all out on hot dates, I'm watching a pool filled with a load of 70 year olds in see-through white speedos. So I'm having a pretty bad day. I then got out my phone to check the time (counting the bloody minutes) and some idiot comes up to me and says: "So...are we going to be lifeguarding or texting today? Don't think you would know about someone drowing unless you got a text message about it!" Excuse me...WHAT? Sisadzijo. Well, besame el culo. And then someone else comes up to me and says: "You know the problem with lifeguards is that they don't spend much time in the pool..." Okay, you're just an idiot. I had to train for 40 hours before I could even sit the 5 hour exam. If you really think that then I'll just leave you to drown next time. And then you won't be so smart.

Except I won't let them drown, because then their family could bloody sue me. Why didn't I just get a job as a shop assistant or a waitress? Sranje.

On a happier note, Novak starts playing in the Open 13 de Marseille on Monday. Hopefully he'll do better than his 2nd round dropout performance last year... He better beat Andy bloody Murray. *rages*

Can someone please tell me exactly WHO Novak's girlfriend is, please?

For once, wikipedia (my source of life and all knowledge) has failed me. Because I am CONFUSED.

There are several possible options as to who Novak's girlfriend actually is:

1) Jelena Ristic, long-term girlfriend (approx. 3 years). An economics student, and one year older than him. Last spotted with him in Shanghai in November 2008. You can even find her on facebook (don't worry, i'm not that much of a stalker. It comes up with her facebook entry when you type her name into google. Although I did feel slightly joyous when I found out that I have more than twice the number of facebook friends that she has. This probably denotes my relative lack of real social life. I really need to get out more.)

Jelena Ristic

2) Leryn Franco, a Paraguayan Olympic javelin-thrower/model/2006 runner-up Miss Paraguay (no, seriously). Apparently they met at the Olympics and she came to all his 2008 US Open matches. I just...have no words.

Leryn Franco

3) On/off Maria Sharapova? I've always thought that was just tabloid nonsense. But they do get awfully close for someone who is supposed to be in a long-term relationship with option #1...

Maria Sharapova and Novak Djokovic

(Yes, Novak's arm is around her)

Okay, can anyone clear this up for me? I am confused in the extreme. Maybe he dates all of them and just gets around a bit... Whatever works for him, baby I ain't judging.

On another note: ARGH THE AUS OPEN. I hate Roddick in the face. I think that says it all.

Wales is so demode.

Yes, I have been gone for a long time. But now I am back.

Do not go to Wales. It is the most demode place on Earth. I almost feel demode simply for having been there. Fortunately it was for less than 24 hours. But still. All I remember is that there was the countryside, and mud, and farmers, and then I felt queasy. Urgh.

Thank Chanel, I am back in civilization now.

I am still in shock though. Perhaps I should wrap myself up in Chanel to get rid of the dirty air of the demode?

"Tom Daley looks like he's been barbequed"

And that, I'm afraid to say, is courtesy of my darling mother. Whilst watching the Olympic diving finals yesterday, she decided to share that great gem of wisdom with me. Okay, yes. The fake tan is more than a little overdone on tiny 14-year-old Daley. By quite a lot. My mother then decided to add: "Look! He's more tanned than the Australian! And the Cuban!" Oh dear. I must say, though, watching the diving was quite enjoyable. Purely because it was rather easy on the eyes watching divers Rommel Pacheco of Mexico and Australian Matthew Mitcham parade around wearing just tiny speedos. Just a little something to keep me entertained until Novak is back on court.

Rommel Pacheco

Onto other matters, the US open begins tomorrow! Novak won't be playing until Tuesday, though. Annoyingly, the schedule has only just been released, so I've made plans for Tuesday - ARGH! Hopefully, he'll be at least 2nd or 3rd in the 11am cycle in order for me to get home in time to watch. The big names on court tomorrow include Rafa, Jelena Jankovic, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Elena Dementieva, David Ferrer, Andy Murray and Anna Chakvetadze. Rafa's opening match is against German qualifier Bjorn Phau, whom he has never met at an ATP or grand slam event. Phau is currently ranked 136th. Unfortunately for Phau, I would imagine that he stands no chance against el matador, who is going into the Open with excellent form (I don't need to give the Beijing Gold-Wimbledon-Roland Garros rundown, do I?)

I have to say, I am getting more than a little bit edgy. Of course I have faith in Novak. I do. I just worry. A lot. Especially seeing as I don't think I can take watching him cry again.

Ahh, pure perfection...

(I just realised that I probably sound like a perv. Ah well. It's the internet - who cares?)

Today's the day...

Well, two big things happened today:

1) I got my GCSE results

2) The draw for the US Open was released

Well. Obviously one event was ever so slightly more important than the other. But we'll overlook that for the time being...

Because the draws are pretty good! My main worry was that Rafa and Novak would be put in the same half of the draw, like in Beijing, but they aren't - they'll only meet if they both make it to the final (and if they do, my heart will probably give up from the strain being put on it). The main competition Novak has in his half comes from Fed, who has won the previous 4 US opens. Okay. That is a little, tiny bit of a problem. Fed defeated Novak in last year's final. But I'm hoping that Federer's recent troubles (losing at Wimbledon; going out very early in the singles at Beijing) will play in Novak's favour. So far they've met twice this year, once on clay court at Monte Carlo, where Fed won, and once on hard court (like the US), at the Aussie Open, which Nole won (and then went on to win the open). So, maybe, hopefully, this year, to use a bad bad bad pun, the ball will be in Novak's court. Or at least Novak's side of the court.

As for the quarter that Novak's in, there are good ones and bad ones. His first match will be against the Frenchman Arnaud Clement. He hasn't been playing too badly this year, and they've never met on hard court before - it could be a tricky one. Further down the line, Andy Roddick, Tommy Robredo, Marin Cilic and Aussie Open runner-up Jo-Wilfried Tsonga might cause problems, not to mention Fernando Gonzalez, Beijing silver medallist and official CHEAT, and Marat Safin, bringer of Wimbledon doom. Its going to be a tense few weeks for me.

Thinking of Marat Safin, I have finally found the strength within myself to forgive him for the Wimbledon incident. Also I watched him playing and remembered that (when he's not playing Novak), he's great to watch. His personality is just...something else. Does anyone else remember that time when he started mouthing swearwords at the umpire because he had been given a warning earlier for an audible obscenity? He really is something else. Also, his sister Dinara is equally likeable. I was actually pretty disappointed when she lost the Beijing final to Elena Dementieva. I think Dinara could go far - hopefully she'll go far in the US open. Sadly, I can't say the same for Marat. I love your attitude, man, but you'll have to drop out before the fourth round so you don't play Novak. Yes, I've forgiven him, but, hey, I still have my priorities.

I've finally regained consciousness.

After last Friday's Beijing semi between moj Novak and Rafael Nadal. Jebacina. I literally screamed for a minute (no, seriously, ask anyone in my household) when the match was over. Poor Novak was crying. The missed drop shot at the end nearly KILLED me. God, the pain. It was like Queen's all over again, but a million times worse because it was the Olympics. And he was so close. ARGH. Not to mention the fact that I'm still fuming over the draw - that match should've been the final. It killed me to see Gonzalez-the-cheat in silver place on the podium above Novak. I'm sorry, but Novak deserved, at the very least, the silver medal. If he had played Gonzalez, he would have crushed him like a fly. Even with his cheating ways. We even have videos that SHOW the ball touched his racquet. In my opinion, the ITF need to do something about it. Tarnished medal, much?

Anyway, I'm hoping that Novak's (relative...) Olympic success bodes well for the US Open.

Oh, and sorry about the last post - I was a little keen in saying that Novak took the opening set at Queen's. I meant to add in "nearly" but wishful thinking clearly got the better of me...