"Tom Daley looks like he's been barbequed"

And that, I'm afraid to say, is courtesy of my darling mother. Whilst watching the Olympic diving finals yesterday, she decided to share that great gem of wisdom with me. Okay, yes. The fake tan is more than a little overdone on tiny 14-year-old Daley. By quite a lot. My mother then decided to add: "Look! He's more tanned than the Australian! And the Cuban!" Oh dear. I must say, though, watching the diving was quite enjoyable. Purely because it was rather easy on the eyes watching divers Rommel Pacheco of Mexico and Australian Matthew Mitcham parade around wearing just tiny speedos. Just a little something to keep me entertained until Novak is back on court.

Rommel Pacheco

Onto other matters, the US open begins tomorrow! Novak won't be playing until Tuesday, though. Annoyingly, the schedule has only just been released, so I've made plans for Tuesday - ARGH! Hopefully, he'll be at least 2nd or 3rd in the 11am cycle in order for me to get home in time to watch. The big names on court tomorrow include Rafa, Jelena Jankovic, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Elena Dementieva, David Ferrer, Andy Murray and Anna Chakvetadze. Rafa's opening match is against German qualifier Bjorn Phau, whom he has never met at an ATP or grand slam event. Phau is currently ranked 136th. Unfortunately for Phau, I would imagine that he stands no chance against el matador, who is going into the Open with excellent form (I don't need to give the Beijing Gold-Wimbledon-Roland Garros rundown, do I?)

I have to say, I am getting more than a little bit edgy. Of course I have faith in Novak. I do. I just worry. A lot. Especially seeing as I don't think I can take watching him cry again.

Ahh, pure perfection...

(I just realised that I probably sound like a perv. Ah well. It's the internet - who cares?)

Today's the day...

Well, two big things happened today:

1) I got my GCSE results

2) The draw for the US Open was released

Well. Obviously one event was ever so slightly more important than the other. But we'll overlook that for the time being...

Because the draws are pretty good! My main worry was that Rafa and Novak would be put in the same half of the draw, like in Beijing, but they aren't - they'll only meet if they both make it to the final (and if they do, my heart will probably give up from the strain being put on it). The main competition Novak has in his half comes from Fed, who has won the previous 4 US opens. Okay. That is a little, tiny bit of a problem. Fed defeated Novak in last year's final. But I'm hoping that Federer's recent troubles (losing at Wimbledon; going out very early in the singles at Beijing) will play in Novak's favour. So far they've met twice this year, once on clay court at Monte Carlo, where Fed won, and once on hard court (like the US), at the Aussie Open, which Nole won (and then went on to win the open). So, maybe, hopefully, this year, to use a bad bad bad pun, the ball will be in Novak's court. Or at least Novak's side of the court.

As for the quarter that Novak's in, there are good ones and bad ones. His first match will be against the Frenchman Arnaud Clement. He hasn't been playing too badly this year, and they've never met on hard court before - it could be a tricky one. Further down the line, Andy Roddick, Tommy Robredo, Marin Cilic and Aussie Open runner-up Jo-Wilfried Tsonga might cause problems, not to mention Fernando Gonzalez, Beijing silver medallist and official CHEAT, and Marat Safin, bringer of Wimbledon doom. Its going to be a tense few weeks for me.

Thinking of Marat Safin, I have finally found the strength within myself to forgive him for the Wimbledon incident. Also I watched him playing and remembered that (when he's not playing Novak), he's great to watch. His personality is just...something else. Does anyone else remember that time when he started mouthing swearwords at the umpire because he had been given a warning earlier for an audible obscenity? He really is something else. Also, his sister Dinara is equally likeable. I was actually pretty disappointed when she lost the Beijing final to Elena Dementieva. I think Dinara could go far - hopefully she'll go far in the US open. Sadly, I can't say the same for Marat. I love your attitude, man, but you'll have to drop out before the fourth round so you don't play Novak. Yes, I've forgiven him, but, hey, I still have my priorities.

I've finally regained consciousness.

After last Friday's Beijing semi between moj Novak and Rafael Nadal. Jebacina. I literally screamed for a minute (no, seriously, ask anyone in my household) when the match was over. Poor Novak was crying. The missed drop shot at the end nearly KILLED me. God, the pain. It was like Queen's all over again, but a million times worse because it was the Olympics. And he was so close. ARGH. Not to mention the fact that I'm still fuming over the draw - that match should've been the final. It killed me to see Gonzalez-the-cheat in silver place on the podium above Novak. I'm sorry, but Novak deserved, at the very least, the silver medal. If he had played Gonzalez, he would have crushed him like a fly. Even with his cheating ways. We even have videos that SHOW the ball touched his racquet. In my opinion, the ITF need to do something about it. Tarnished medal, much?

Anyway, I'm hoping that Novak's (relative...) Olympic success bodes well for the US Open.

Oh, and sorry about the last post - I was a little keen in saying that Novak took the opening set at Queen's. I meant to add in "nearly" but wishful thinking clearly got the better of me...

"Hewitt's playing the kitchen sink game now"

And my quote of the day today comes from Sam Smith, giving commentary on the closing few games of Hewitt's match against el matador, Rafael Nadal. Poor Lleyton really had his cojones kicked by Rafa in Beijing, being taken out 6-1, 6-2 in the second round. Ouch. Tomorrow, Rafa will face the unseeded Igor Andreev of Russia, whom he has played four times previously, winning 3 times.

Sadly, the rest of Sam's commentary wasn't so amusing. I nearly had a fit as she talked of her concern about moj ljubav Novak Djokovic, and how she thought he hadn't fully recovered from his defeat in the final of Queen's in June. I'm still angry about that, actually. Especially after so spectacularly taking the first set...ARGH. Anyway, despite Sam's conjecture, Novak made it fairly comfortably though what could have been a tricky second round match against the unpredictable Rainer Schuettler, winning in straight sets, 6-4, 6-2. Međutim, Novak's match tomorrow will be a tough one. He faces Mikhail Youzhny, the Russian 13th seed. Despite the gap in rankings, Novak hasn't done too well in previous matches against Youzhny. He has only won one of three previous matches, and the two that he lost were both on hard court. Just like at Beijing. Sranje. This, however, will be their first meeting this year, and I hope that Novak's first major at the Australian on hard court earlier this year will tide him through. If you hear someone swearing angrily in Serbian at a TV screen tomorrow, that'll be me.

Glorious civilization. οιμοι.

I'm back from the wilderness. First, it was Wales. Then a small Spanish village which had apparently never heard of the internet or mobile phone signal. Then it was Ancient Greek camp at Bryanston, situated in a tiny village called Blandford. The clue's in the name. Ancient Greek camp was actually a lot of fun. I met Jesus. He's a pretty cool guy. He translated Euripides for me, but it turns out that I speak Spanish better than him. Not so hot on the modern languages, eh? I now keep on dropping Greek words into everyday conversation. I think I've lost all vestiges of sanity. οιμοι.

On another note, Cincinnati, argh. Yet again, I find myself disappointed in my dearest Novak. I was overjoyed when I found out that he had knocked out Rafa (naturally, le quiero, pero...Novak es mejor), but then he let himself be defeated in the final by Andy Murray. ANDY BLOODY MURRAY of all people. Benast govno. He's just so arrogant. I still haven't gotten over the time when he flexed his muscles after the Gasquet match at Wimbledon. Bezmozgaš. Fortunately, he went out today in the first round of the Beijing Olympics. Thank heavens. Srećom, Novak went through in straight sets against Robby Ginepri, however tomorrow he'll face Rainer Schuettler, who reached the semis at Wimbledon in a series of upsets earlier this season. Hopefully, Novak will avoid another shock exit this time (although at Wimbledon he went out to Marat Safin, whom ja mrzim). Thankfully (for the sake of my blood pressure) Safin is not competing at Beijing, although his sister, Dinara Safina, is. In fact, she beat the Italian Mara Santangelo in the first round earlier today. My other main Serbian title-hope is the lovely Jelena Jankovic, who went through her first round match in straight sets. Fellow Serb Ana Ivanovic is also sadly not competing, nor is Croat Mario Ancic, both of whom I'm quite upset not to be seeing. Alas, I shall console myself with Novak. Napredovati, Nole!